How to Bring Food Into the Cinema Uninvited.

Greetings and welcome to Evil Week, our yearly exploration of all the slightly dubious hacks we would typically advise against. We've got all the information you need to be successfully unsavoury, whether your goal is to play intricate mind...

Nov 3, 2023 - 19:00
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How to Bring Food Into the Cinema Uninvited.



Greetings and welcome to Evil Week, our yearly exploration of all the slightly dubious hacks we would typically advise against. We've got all the information you need to be successfully unsavoury, whether your goal is to play intricate mind games, launder some money, or weasel your way into free drinks.


One thing that all moviegoers can agree on, regardless of their preference for snobby arthouse cinema or the lowest-common-denominator Superhero sequels, is the exorbitant cost of multiplex food. Bring your own snacks to the movies, though, and you can make movie food almost free (a tactic that theater owners detest).


Some basic advice on smuggling food into the cinema.


The common knowledge regarding smuggling food into movies includes practical advice such as:.


Bring only merchandise that has already been sold in the theater.


Bring nothing that is overly scented.


You're friends with big pockets.


Place it inside your purse.


Eating food first allows it to enter your stomach like a sneaker. (I didn't make that one up).


All excellent advice that ignores the fact that nobody genuinely gives a damn, which should cast a shadow over any attempt to smuggle food into movie theaters. You must exercise a hint of cunning, but not too much, as you should see from the previous sentence.


Is it possible to be punished for bringing your own food to the theater?


It's unlikely that you'll be caught sneaking snacks into a theater if you exercise basic caution, and even if you are, it won't be a huge deal. In summary, carrying food into a movie theater is not likely to result in major consequences.


The multiplex's primary revenue stream may come from concession sales, but the 17-year-old who rips your ticket most likely doesn't give a damn about you personally and isn't paid enough to care about you professionally. Their main goal is to finish the workday without any problems. Thus keep in mind the golden rule:.


Assign employees a plausible deniability. You only need to make your smuggling harder to detect than it is to catch, rather than hiding your cake under a false pregnancy belly. You should be fine with that protruding hoodie pocket as long as the candy bar isn't sticking out of it and you're not eating an entire pizza before you go inside.


This rule has the following significant corollaries:.


Keep your mouth shut. Giving someone a reason to dislike you could encourage them to use what little influence they have to ruin your evening. Although improbable, it is not impossible. So when they rip your ticket, just give them a smile, say "thank you," and move on.


Give someone a reason to dislike you, and they might be inspired to use what little influence they have to ruin your evening. Although unlikely, it is not impossible. When they tear your ticket, just say "thank you" and smile, then continue on your way. After yourself, tidy up. In this poll of a few theater workers.


What would happen if you were discovered bringing food into a theater?


What if the district manager is breathing down the manager's neck because Jujube sales have been noticeably low for two months, and she sends the assistant manager out to rip the tickets to teach the new hires how to catch candy-smugglers? Well:.


Take it easy on yourself. Since it's not against the law to smuggle food into theaters, the worst that can happen is a little shock. Although they might throw you out, they would probably just make you take your snack back to the car, throw it out, or save it until the end of the movie. All of this is quite low-risk.


The worst that could happen is a little embarrassment because bringing food into a theater without permission is not against the law. They could throw you out, but more likely they would make you take your snack back to the car, throw it out, or save it until the end of the movie. Everything is quite low-stakes. Breach. Saying "I'm diabetic" may help diffuse a heated situation with an overly eager employee who is upset that you have a Snickers bar sticking out of your pocket. Alternatively, "I suffer from severe allergies. Declare it with confident friendliness while maintaining eye contact with them, and don't provide any more context. The likelihood is that the movie theater staff will wave you through even if your explanation isn't clear or doesn't make senseā€”if nothing else, just to avoid having to have a difficult talk with you about your health.


Try stating, "I have diabetes," if an overly zealous employee confronts you because they are upset that you have a Snickers bar sticking out of your pocket. I have severe allergies. "Say it looking them in the eye, confidently and amiably, without providing any more details. The employees at the movie theater are likely to wave you through even if what you say isn't clear or doesn't make sense, if only to avoid having to have a difficult conversation about your health. Don't be a jerk once more. Actually, practically every interaction with service personnel (as well as any other interaction) is covered by this rule.


Advanced movie theater snack theft: Pour soda into a popcorn container.


I do not recommend that you go to the self-serve station and blatantly fill an empty popcorn carton with soda like TikToker Life According To Eli does in this video. Giving employees plausible deniability is against the law; you're essentially pleading with someone to say, "Hey, you can't do that.". ".


There are a lot of possible drawbacks, like: Will the unwaxed popcorn tub deteriorate enough during Oppenheimer to trigger a minor flood? And do you really want that much soda?


However, it is quite humorous, and the cost of soda at the movies is so exorbitant that it seems just. So if you really must push the boundaries of stealing from a movie theater concession stand, I suggest getting a tub of popcorn to share and using it to at least sip your Dr. Pepper that you stole from a clean cup. And if you get yelled at, don't blame me.


At what point is it improper to bring food into a theater?


It is possible to argue that breaking rules at a theater is a form of theft, but that is the world in which we live in. You will gain nothing from your virtue and only lose money. Hell, movie theater staff members even smuggle food into the theaters.


There is one exception, though: everything above is predicated on the idea that you are going to a chain theater where minor financial losses related to concessions are just figures on a Q3 spreadsheet that will swiftly turn into a corporate profit scheme that you will never comprehend.


Avoid smuggling food if you frequently watch movies at independent theaters. The least you can do if you want to eat during a show is buy some Mike N' Ikes to support these houses of cinematic worship, as their profit margins are extremely thin and concession sales are really how they make their nuts. Locations such as that require your cooperation to remain open.


And always buy the brownies (baked by the owner's wife) if you visit a theater with them as "concessions.". They will be excellent, and that is also very cute.


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